Quote:
Originally Posted by shumby
so ya i just got back from the bath room and had a really good poop.
|
hahha nice man.
So which one?
Ghost Shit
You know you've sh
it. There's sh
it on the toilet paper, but no sh
it in the bowl.
Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of sh
it on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your
ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This sh
it leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your
ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of sh
it that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You sh
it so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This sh
it is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of sh
it usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks Shit
This sh
it hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your *** wet.
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no sh
it!
Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you sh
it.
Snake Shit
This sh
it is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This sh
it usually happens at someone else's house.
Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your ******* stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your sh
it doesn't smell too bad, but this sh
it is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of sh
it also usually happens at someone else's house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of sh
it that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
The Bungee Shit
The kind of sh
it that just hangs off your
ass before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of sh
it where you eat really spicy food and your ******* feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of sh
it where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Big Bobber
The kind of sh
it that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of sh
it that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of sh
it that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of sh
it that yanks out the hair of your
ass as it pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant sh
it you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of sh
it that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of sh
it that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a sh
it.
Oh Shit! Shit
You sh
it so much and wipe your
ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SH
IT!
The Never Ending Shit
It's the sh
it that keeps running out of your
ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your
ass your stomach gargles and splash, more sh
it runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of sh
it that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.