Welp, new battery didn't do it, so I guess it's the steering wheel lock. Unforunatly, I'm pretty sure that the car is out of warranty since it's a 2009. I bought it one year used from CarMax so I'll have to double check, but pretty sure.
I'll research the other threads and see if it's something I can resolve myself. I'll probably have to get it towed to my house first though
