Nissan 370Z Forum - View Single Post - The New "What did you do with your Z today" (with off topic replies) II

Rooster89 · 12-05-2012, 05:14 PM

Found this today on "Awesome Sh1t My Drill Sergeant said" and had one of the best laughs i had in a while. I figure I would share it here.

Quote:

Submitted by Kody
Fort Knox.
In order to set the story up I will let you know that I am a 5th generation war veteran, so I come from a long line of military men, all Infantry types, except for me who went 19D.
For those of you who don't know Scout school is 16 weeks OSUT. 16 weeks of the same Drill Sargeants.

It was approximately week 10 and so far I had managed to fly under the radar. I figured if I could keep quite and out of the way I wouldn't be paid any "special attention."
We were on the Ready Line for mail call when our SDS picked up a package and looked at me and smiled the most menacing smile I had, or have, ever seen. He put the package to the side and when he had finished mail call he told us to go form up for PM chow.
After about 45 minutes of standing in formation the Troop's Drill Sargeant's cam walking out of the barracks to take us to chow, which was unusual because by that time only 2 Drill Sargeants were taking us to chow. I was in the last row of 3rd Platoon's formation when 2nd platoon's SDS came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "I'm going to ******* enjoy this."

I remember trying to think of what I had messed up or why he would say that to me.
My platoon's SDS took charge of the Troop's formation and yelled, "TROOP ATTENTION!! PRIVATE R POST!!"
I stood there for a split second confused. Had he just called my name? What was going on?
"I SAID POST GODDAMN IT!!" I was completely numb, but somehow found my way to the front of the Troop.
SDS: "Why don't you tell the Troop what we were doing just before formation."
Me: "Mail call Drill Sargeant."
SDS: "Did you get any mail Private?"
Me: "No Drill Sargeant."
SDS: "Well I did." (By this time I was more confused than a gay man in a strip club.) "why don't you go ahead and read this to the Troop."
He hand me the package that I had seen during mail call earlier and I reached in and while I was pulling out the letter; a baby blanket, a pacifier, and a teddy bear fell out.

"Dear Mr. Drill Sargeant,
Thank you so much for watching after my very special boy while he attends what he calls Day Camp. He says that his SDS is a pansy, what does he mean by that? He left in such a hurry that he forgot to pack properly. He left behind his binky, his blanky, and Mr. Boo Boo. Will you please make sure that he gets these items? I sure would appreciate it.
With love,
His Daddy."
While I was reading the letter the privates in formation were trying their hardest not to bust up laughing, but were failing horribly. The other DS's were making their cat calls at me.
My SDS: "Does your "Daddy" hate you private?"
I was completely mortified.
Me: "N-N-No Drill Sargeant."
During the chow line and everyday until graduation I had to walk around with a pacifier in my mouth, that damn blanket draped over my shoulder, and holding Mr Boo Boo's hand. He had become my new battle buddy.
A couple days later I had a chance to call my dad and when I told him what had happened I had to listen to him laugh uncontrollably until my time on the phone was up.
All these years later as I come up on my ETS I still look back on that experience and laugh my *** off, but back then I probably would have killed my own father.