A guy out on the golf course takes a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
They call 911 and the ambulance takes him to the hospital where his doctor meets him and checks him out. He says, "How bad is it, Doc?.....I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin."
The doctor tells him, "I'll have to put a splint on it to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He takes four tongue depressors, forms a neat little 4-sided splint, and tapes it all together: an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon.
That night, in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal herself. She says, "You're the first. No one has EVER touched these."
He immediately drops his pants and replies, "You think that's something? Look at this, still in the CRATE!"
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