few things... It really sounds like you are confused. As others have hinted to, your best bet is to meet up with locals and have them show you their setup and explain to you in person. Researching what a certain width/offset/camber setting/ride height looks like online can be very deceiving. In addition, over the last few years, there has been a trend towards aggressive width/offset setups with stretched tires so the internet is full of that stuff, however, alot of people don't realize the pros and cons of running a setup like that, especially on a daily driver. People decide to copy someone's aggressive setup and then they end up hating their setup because it starts to affect the driving experience. When I was researching fitment options for my custom wheels on my G35, I took a look at all the local G driver's car to see what their setup looked like.
Upgrading your wheels and tires is much more than just purchasing new wheels and tires. You more than likely are going to want to lower your car to achieve a desired look. Usually cars don't look all that great when you install aftermarket wheels and tires and maintain the stock ride height. Your car will look silly if you start stretching tires on aggressive offset wheels and keep the stock ride height. Don't do it. Also, even if you get the exact same wheel width/offset and tire sizes as someone else, unless you have the exact same suspension height and camber settings, you setup will look different.
In addition to new suspension, you will have to deal with camber/toe kits, possible rolling of your fenders, and definitely an alignment.
It sounds like there are guys here that are willing to help you out and show you. My advice would be to see cars in person. There is a tendency for wheel/tire setups (and camber) to look more aggressive in person than in photos online.
Generally, the lower the offset, the more "aggressive" the fitment is. However, the wheel width plays a big factor. A 20x10.5 +10 would be more aggressive than a 20x9 +10, even though both wheels have a +10 offset.
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