Just noticed this thread, haven't bothered to read the intervening pages
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UpRev has had the very easy ability to tune the torque map on the 7AT for a *long* time now. It wasn't remotely a new feature when you were going through this. I've talked to UpRev on the phone about this feature in the past and dug into it a lot. The bottom line is that FI + 7AT cars really *need* the torque map tuned, it's not really an option to not do so. That's at a minimum; some would argue you still also need internals upgrades, depending on the power level and usage patterns.
It's also dead simple. With a full Tuner license for UpRev, you can do it yourself on the street without a dyno, just by watching the clutch slip data via Cipher while you drive around, and adjusting torque map values upwards until it stops slipping. That's not to say you should have done this yourself: you paid them to tune your car, and setting up the torque map should've been part of the process. As a consumer you aren't expected to know the fine details of tuning this car.
That the light bulb didn't go on even when you pointed this out to them is ridiculous. I'd go after them for the transmission replacement costs.