Nissan 370Z Forum - View Single Post - the 370Z.com OFFICIAL football (soccer) thread

phelan · 08-09-2011, 12:33 PM

yup, i put it on TGH too: [Arsenal.com] Miyaichi granted work permit to play for Club | Arsenal Forum

which also has a fun set of jokes in the entertainment section:

Quote:

A Man U supporter, A Gunner and a Spurs supporter were caught out on the piss in Saudi Arabia. Drinking is a crime that carries severe penalties there and they were all sentenced to 10 years in a Saudi prison. It just so happened to be the King's birthday and he was feeling generous so he decided to reduce the sentence to 20 lashes of the whip and since it was the saudi independence day, he further granted the guilty supporters one wish each. When asked, the Spurs supporter said, "I wish for a pillow to be strapped to my back" His wish was granted but the whip tore the pillow to shreds by the 10th lash and he was left bloodied and in need of medical attention. Then it was the Man U supporter's turn and his wish request was 2 pillows. This still proved inadequate and the whip broke through at 15 lashes leaving him in a bad state. After that, the king tuned to the Gunner and said, since you are the last, I will grant you 2 wishes before your punishment. The Gunner thought for a minute then replied, "For my first wish, I'd like 100 lashes instead of 20." The king admired the man's courage and asked him what his second wish was. The Gunner replied, "Strap the Spurs supporter to my back."

Quote:

What do you call 100 Spurs supporters on the moon?..A Problem.
What do you call every Spurs supporter on the moon?…Problem solved

Quote:

A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.

“Well,” replies the man, “the Arsenal ground is very close but they’re playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you’ll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.

You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop."

Quote:

A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. “What about your parents?” asks the social worker. “No, they beat me,” says the boy. “What about your grandparents?” says the social worker. “No, they beat me even harder!” says the boy. “Well … where do you want to stay then?” replies the social worker. “Tottenham,” says the boy. “They don’t beat anyone."