Personally, I use a Sig P229 .40 cal. It's a German model I bought it 1996. It is a fantastic pistol. It has probably about 15,000 round through it. Virtually no wear on any of the mating surfaces. All I've ever had to do to it is replace a few springs. The newer Sigs, while the same form factor, have some serious quality and design problems. Grips and grip screws are a nightmare, weak or failure-prone recoil springs, hammer failures, excessive slide wear, broken extractors, broken trigger bars, crappy magazines....this stuff all related to me by a buddy who's a Sig armorer for the Sheriff's department. They recently went back to issuing Glocks because it was getting to be a hassle keeping Sig replacement parts on hand.
For a game gun, I use a S&W M&P 9L. It's an OK pistol. I replaced the sear and striker along with a reset-assist device and that took that trigger from "marginal" to "really excellent". It's been reliable for me...I can't think of any failures. I use it in 9mm because that ammo is cheap and low recoil. It's been a good competition pistol for me and I like the 23 round magazines. Having said that, I don't think I'd use the M&P as a carry-weapon or duty-weapon.
If my P229 exploded tomorrow, I'd replace it in .40 with an H&K P30. If I couldn't get the P30, I would reluctantly get a Glock 23. "Reluctant" only because I find the Glocks to be ugly, uninspired weapons. From a standpoint of reliability and accuracy, they are excellent and I wouldn't hesitate to trust my life to one.
As to the XD/XDm, my business partner has an XDm and he really likes it a lot.
AFAIK, it's been reliable for him. He's had some trouble finding holsters that work well with it, but otherwise he's had no complaints. We both have a firearms course coming up on the 21st, and then a two day 1000-round course with Louis Awerbuck in August. Those two events ought to represent a good opportunity to find any weak spots that particular pistol. As I mentioned earlier, the XDs are generally regarded as only being "OK" among the people I shoot a lot with. I will say that one reason I see for any scorn the XD's might get appears to be more related to the way they are so often pushed by gun store owners. They have a higher margin in the XDs for some reason and they are readily available, so they get blindly pushed without regard for any drawback they might have. As a group, gun shop owners are probably one of the single worst sources of good advice on firearms. When they start pushing a brand as intensely as they tend to push the XD's, knowledgeable firearms enthusiasts become very suspicious.